<|>The Burning Soul<|>

Monday, July 31, 2006

Happy Birthday Keith~

Today I got detention class till 5pm. All because Mr Sim don't know he ate wrong what medicine. Lol! He now don't know because of stress or what make him so restless.

Never mind about. Later, when to eat with Si Yun, Daren, Gladys, Mei Sen, Keith. Guess what? My whole meal was spoiled by Daren, because of his two $1 coin. Lol! Never mind Daren, you shall be forgiven.

Now, I am neither happy nor sad. I will only attain happiness until you......And I will attain saddnes only you...... Until that day, I shall use remain my feelings neutral at all cost. Lol! Keith I am glad to see your cheerful despite...... But I know that the sad part is hiden inside you.

I had waited 1306 Days......

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 8:02 AM

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Yesterday was really a very busy day for me, I could only reached home at 10.45 pm. 1st I woke up at 8.15 am, ask KJ call early never call. Zzz... So, I had to call him. Then, I prepared to go to Expo to watched Haryani, HW, Choon competition. I am glad that all three of them went in the top 16 but sad to say Haryani and Choon couldn't proceed to the next round. Never mind, at least there is always a next time. Ya! KJ also owe alot of us a treat. Lol!Who call him want give people motivation lar!LOL!

After the competition, we went to Tampanies Mall to have our lunch. Later, arcade. In the arcade, we met a weird guy who go around challenging people to play with him the hockey thingy where you use a thing to hit a pluck into your opponent "goal post". Although he is good but still very weird. When his opponent shoot in he will like bang the table. When he score he will act cool. Lol!

An hour or so later, I went home with KJ and Choon taking bus number 8. It was a super long ride, so we slept in the bus. Haha! Then, we alight at my house there and KJ go take another bus. But Choon and me walked to Choon house and I went on alone to Bishan myself.

After meeting Eunice they all, we like spent our time meaninglessly at J8. At least, we mingle around with our new friends, Ai Sha, Filbert, You Long, Jowell. Haha! See i remember all their name. After a very sianZ walk at J8, we decided to proceed early to NYJC. Then, no choice but to wait there again. SianZ!!! When it was about time, all of us was like finally! Eug and Dar happily talking and insulting there.LOL! I just sat there and take picture. Unfortunately all the picture were quite blur. Hahx! Overall, the performance was not bad. I like the third performance of the mordern dance. Lol!

Finally I reached home for the 1st time yesterday. But after an hour I leave again to watched Long Hu Men. Not bad I shall say. But I feel that no enough fighting and it was totally predictable. Best Quote: "Have you ever beaten someone you shuoldn't beat?" said Wang Xiao Long to Wang Xiao Hu.
" Nope." Wang Xiao Hu reply.
" I have, glad that you remember what I said, you don't because you are the good guy but I am the villian. I had been force to do alot of things against my will. But, at least I know I live on with my principles, duty and responsibility and so do you. Wang Xiao Long preached."

Today saw alot of beautiful girls, but i can put none of them in my heart or in my world. As my heart and world is occupied by someone, although you don't know it. But I love you......

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 2:33 AM

Thursday, July 27, 2006

I am neither sad nor happy currently. It was because I feel sick at this world. Maybe died is the reward of living? But don't be silly to commit suicide! I know how painful some of the people feel. But commiting suicide is just running away from the problem and the problem still cannot be solve. Worst still you will create more trouble. So how can we be so selfish? Actually, I don't even not what am I writting? Never mind I shall continue writting.

This is the logo of Shuang Fei.Lol! It may seem weird why we change the yinyang sign to yin yin. There is actually a meaning behind this. The wing is there because our group name is Shuang Fei without wing how to fly?Lol! Other you try and decipher it yourself.Hahx

Never regret what you did. Amend it......

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 6:50 AM

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Today went home that time, Mel, Dar, Kei and I saw one girl fell down from the stairs. Luckily, she was fine but soak with liquid that was in a bottle that look like beer. That incident remind me of a quote that was told by Choon. "No matter how many times you fell down don't count it, what you must count is how many times you picked yourself up."

Later in the day, Choon and I met up. I felt that Choon had change. You no longer shared the same ideas. But you grew alot. Thats is very good. You finally know how to treat your friends around better. Remember, if you want to help someone you must put yourself in that person shoe. If you don't know how he feel and don't even know what he was thinking, how well can you succeed in helping him?

Look around you, what you see? Observe it, you will find surprises......

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 6:34 AM

Monday, July 24, 2006

I had started to lose confidence in alot of things now, I don't know why I felt this way.

Although I had lose my confidence, I shall never lose m hope.

No matter what, I will find you as my pillar of strength even if you do not know.

I shall succeed, i shall create miracle.

為你付出那種傷心你永遠不瞭解我又何苦勉強自己愛上你的一切

你又狠狠逼退我的防備靜靜關上門來默數我的淚

明知道讓你離開他的世界不可能會我還傻傻等到奇跡出現的那一天

直到那一天你會發現真正愛你的人獨自守著傷悲

曾經我以為我自己會後悔不想愛的太多癡心絕對

為你落第一滴淚為你做任何改變也喚不回你對我的堅決

If you want to view this please change source encoding to traditional chinese......

This song suit me best......

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 6:36 AM

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Hi! People I am back for more posting. Hehe! Yesterday, as some of you might know I went to a birthday celebration with Choon. Yup! It was indeed a fun day =D But yesterday never play dota with them because all computer there spoiled. What kind of lan shop is that? A lan shop that cannot play lan! LOL! Wasted! So many pro gather there yesterday, is a very good chance to improve. Lol!

Okay, lets talk more about the event in the party. When Choon and I went there the celebration had start very long ago already. As we did not want to eat at Marina South so we came abit later. When we went there, the first they did was taking photo with us. LOL! Choon pull me in with them. Zzz... After that, we went to mingle around. Haha! Choon did a funny thing. Zzz... He call for Jy and told her I want to talk to her. LOL! I mean what the hell!!! I am so embarrassed! So the thing I do next was PUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! Haha!

Moment later, we went to play arcade. Drew play a bball game that will never end if you keep wining. Lol! Ya! I have not mention how power was Drew beat boxing! It was very nice even without a mike! Yesterday, I really get to know alot of new friends like: Teeming( The handsome bday boy ), Clair etc......OkayZ, here is the end of yesterday!!!

I really don't understand why most of the girls I had a crush on, always dao me.Sob!!! Luckily got some never as they don 't know I crush on them before XD... I just wondering why? Is it that people had a crush on you before cannot be your friend? What about if you had a crush on a guy, then that guy did the same thing to what you all did to me how would all of you feel? I really do wish to know is it that I not worthy of being your friend? Or other reason? Can anyone tell me?

Now, people start to notice about me and eug. And they had started questioning. All I could say was he did alot of thing that harm me. I just don't feel like having him in my circle of friend. I have forgiven him too many times le. He himself know what happen. So I won't say more to it. I understand that in this world nothing is greater than forgiveness. But I even if I forgive him, what is the use? Make him betray me again? He had so many friends already, 1 more lesser doesn't make any difference. Someone told me that I should change him not to spoiled friendship with him. But I feel that my ability now could not help. I am not a god you know, I can't do much, I also can't do what others fellow human cannot do. Do yu all know how much things he did? He did tooo much things and thought I didn't know. I just wanted to tell him this "I know you better than most of the people." I am different from others that what you once told me. So you should know I am capable of alot of things too. And don't try to think that you can hide your deeds forever. God know!!!

I believe everyone will change as time passes with the surrounding and people they met. But their basic nature will never change. Eg. A bad guy will still remain as a bad guy, unless you are not a bad person at nature......

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 9:36 PM

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

This very day, I went to KTV with Mel they all. It was a fun trip yet a disappointed day for me and for those who had faith in me. I sing about 4 songs. Lol! Hei se mao yi, jian jian dan dan, sha shi bi ya de tian fen, forever love, but I never sing my best two songs.Tong hua and Kiss Goodbye.No tong hua cause LSY hate that song scared later she cry.No kiss goodbye because there don't have.LOL! The 1st song I sang was hei se mao yi and it was totally suck, although mel say it was better than last time. I know it was just to make me feel better.It was because when I sing that song I was fooling around. I can't concentrate, I don't what is bugging me. Later in the day, LSY said she know why I was eliminated on xyss, I tell her the reason myself which is the tune and key all haywire. And I also told her I don't know the tune very well yet and I don't really know how control mike well, but the truth is I already knew it all, how can I don't know the tune and key =.=''' I sing it quite often. But the can't control voice on mike is true.LOL! The real reason I never perform well just now was...1.I never concentrate.2.In my mindset I was only there to have fun not to showcase talent.3. I never sing like I normally will sing in front of tc is maybe because when I sing with my real voice or I normally would I was afraid of bad opinions from others, as I aiming for perfection. As for the other songs, I feel that I sang jian jian dan dan quite well but I don't think anyone could really hear me. As mel is singing as well and he style of sing of that song is really different from mind. Mo qi bu kou I shall say. Then, sha si pi ya de tian fen I can't concentrate well too, as don't know which @#$%^ go on the audio, so when I sing I will keep like following the style of JJ.As for forever love, nothing to cause it was to insult gladys. Enough about me on just now for now.lol!

now I which post about what I think about the performance just now. No offense people! Mel sing the best just now. His only mistake was like mine and tc last time. Anyhow zhuan ying sometimes.lol! But what I could say is his zhuan ying really very nice. I really not sure why the girl eeeeeeeeeeek for what? Dar was very high and alot of action and when he sing with mel they totally mo qi 100%.lol! No wonder they are known as best tag team. Arhahx!!!Kei only do some rapping and Sen never sing. Gla sing most of the time very flat no feeling but sing untill very relax. S Y also very flat but her voice is natural nice, so of cause she sing will be well but don't why can zhao shia sometimes and keep using bi ying.Ya dar also Zhao Shia Tian Wang!!!What can I say more other than GE YOU QIAN QIU!!!

Joker of the day: Me

Best singer of the day:Melv

Coolest of the day:Kei

Quiet of the day:Sen

Mike holder of the day:SY

Host of the day: Gla

Okay lets get back to me after a break, later when I meet up with tc and told him about the event on KTV. He told me he really disappointed cause he know how well I sing more than anyone. He told me I should sing truefully even if I scared opinions, so I can learn more. No matter what I do I must be serious, must respect what you do and yourself. If you want performed must definitely make it your best cannot play around. After hearing that, my mindset from going there for having fun to if I was there to fool around why bother even singing.haha! Quite disappointed with myself after much consideration because I can do alot better than just now. tc also said that if you want to aim for the top you must 1st passed your own test 1st. I personally feel it was quite true and I know that it could also be put in other place other than singing. LSY once told me that I could not passed the audition no matter what, I really wanted to tell her this," people will improve and don't judge people by once or twice of their performance or mistake. They may hide their talent or something happen to them or off form." Form is actually important but a good singer their form will most likely always at their peak. They will also off form sometime like JJ in one of his concert.

Before I end, I must sincerely apologised to TC and the rest of the people going to KTV and those who have total faith in me. I am really sorry. Thanks TC also as he told me god made us people with mistake so we can constantly improved ourself just don't made it again.Ya! One last thing, I will never regret joining xyss because it really change my music life. My talent in music is coming from experience and not from nature. Not like some of the people with born talent. lol! I promised this next time I perform something I will try my best, and not like today. If you all have notice, all the key I sing all high even it should be low.You all got notice?

We people must constantly improved and must not let down by mistake, this is what I learned today.

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 8:10 AM

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Yo! I am back to posting after two days. Hehe! Yesterday, went to watch Pirates of Caribean 2 with the JKY2. Quite nice but we got the second row from the front seats. Zzzz... Almost spoiled our eyesight. During the show, Gladys sms me. Lol! I never on silence!!! Haha! Luckily no one complain. After the show, we was waiting for the credits to finished. We all was like !@#$%^&* as the credits was s damn f****** long and guess what after the credits was some damn dog being treating as god. A moment or two later, Mel was urgently needing the toilets, So he ran to the toilet. LOL!

When the show was over, we went to Xing house for steam boat. Haha! While we reach there, we was all so hungary waiting for Geraldine and Dominate. Lol! Dominating, kidding.
The steam boats was like everyone never eat foods for 10 years, all snatch here and there.lol! The 1st round Kei and I didn't even get the soup.Zzzz...Later, I only got to eat 1 wanton only but I like the scalop most.lol! After eating, we went to Xing room and play. Kei and I happily torturing Gladys the bear.LOL! Treating it like a baseball and using bolster as baseball bat.haha! Then, we play ren ti hei bai chei.lol! Loser will be beat by Kei and me with bolster as punishment.Woot! Suddenly, the game became jin zhi mi ma. And the loser will be beat by everyone .lol!There was no holding back. All hit so hard on me but Dar was the worst.LOL!
Today, overall was a fun day.Yeah!!!

I am logging off now......

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 8:03 PM

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Even though I am feeling down, there will still people who will intentionally provoke me. Not that who you are but I am feeling down and you are a girl or I am a coward or something just don't go too far. I am known for my temper and god strength. But I also swear that I will never beat a girl. Sob!!! If I can I would definitely give you a tight slap. I just no mood to argue with you, no choice let you win for once. You are safe for now.

Even though I try so hard but I still can't kick my gaming habits. Omg! What should I do? I want to study but at home I had no mood. How? I am a goner soon!!! Prelim is round the corner, if I never do something fast I will be dead.

I tried so hard yet I only got so far...
I tried so hard yet you did so harsh...
I will not give up...
I will not give in...
Love is painful yet is hatrat...
Don't cry...Miracles is near...
Believe......

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 5:28 AM

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I feel that there is a particular person who is avoiding me. I not sure what the reason is.I feel that I am really not myself this few days. Either I am too hyper active or too quiet. I don't know what to say and I don't know what to do.I also don't even know what I am posting. Never mind, lets just go with the flow see what can I think of posting while posting.lol!ZZzzz...

I kind of miss the day of 7-11, actually I forgotten it le till yesterday. Yesterday was 11of July, but our birthday is on 7 of November. It was the opposite.Hahz! We used to had so much fun together and we are like one big family. We had lots of outings, we had shared lots of joy and sorrow. Until that day it was seperated. I still cant believe how small the matter was and can blew things up. I also had no ideas why that guy was so angry as he also did the same thing to us too. He was the last should be angry. At least that is what I think.

Although I like the days of 7-11, but I like T5 more. Currently, it became JKY square.HahZ! It was a short form actually. Now, we are all dota freaks. One day, I must at least play a game of dota or else I couldn't sleep.Lol!I think I will stop here barhx!

In school, I am not the only one who is sad. There are people who really need more console than me.

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 5:22 AM

Monday, July 10, 2006

Yesterday, I watched world cup till nearly 5, so i only had like an hour of time sleeping.Never mind at least my prediction is correct. Italy won! Haha!But inside of me I want France to win but I just know they will lose as Italy formation and tactics was better and got a veri great goal keeper.

Today, I went to school very early just to sleep.Haha!It was raining too.Waa!So the feeling is so song!Then later in the day I continue sleeping on English and History lesson.Woot I shall say!Harhx

I don't why nowadays kind of like Fan Yi Cheng song.Zzz...And don't know what happen to me.I just can't seem to concentrate what I am doing.I was more quiet than usual and also I don't what I am thinking now?I just can't know myself.

If you like someone, must tell them sooner or the longer it get the harder it take.You may regret not saying eariler.

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 7:04 AM

Saturday, July 08, 2006

As I just tio the virus of eun and I cant complain, so it my turn.Sob!LOL!

Your Ten Favourite:

Favourite colours:Red, White, Green, Gold, Blue, PINK!!!

Favourite movie:Too much to name

Favourite sport:Basketball

Favourite season:Fall

Favourite Ice cream flavour:Choc-chip mint

Favourite country:Japan(Teehehehe,I like the chio little things there!!!KiddingLOL!)

Favourite thing:My notebook!

Your Nine Current:

Current mood: Lost and Blue

Current clothes:Man U pant n underwear oni(Zzzz)

Current desktop:Kira n Lacus with wings

Current toe nail:Colourless

Current time:12.4650pm

Current annoyance:Me

Current thought:Someone......

Current song:Hai Lang

Your Eight First

First girlfriend:None(Sob!!!)

First Crush:6 1/2

First movie:How to remember lol!

First piercing:None

First lie: I am 2 years old(lol! a stupid lie i made in my younger days whn i dunno my age)

First music: I dunno lol!

First cry:20th October 1990

Your Six Last

Last Drink:Pokka Green Tea

Last Crush: 15th December 2004(Althought I dont like her now)

Last movie seen:Stm lol!

Last phone call:Today!!!

Last cd played:S.H.E Bu Xiang Zhang Ta

Five Things You Are Wearing:

Watch, Pant,underwear(lol?Duh!!!) erm..nothing else le...

Four Things You Have Done Today:

Window Shopping, Play, Sing songs, Listen to Songs

Three Things I Heard Now:

5566 boyfriend song, Signing sound of my godfather,My typing sound from keyboard

Two Things You Cant Live Without:

Someone and my senses

One thing I do when I bored:

Anyhow fool around

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 9:39 AM

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Today I took my oral examination, it was quite alright. The experience was an interesting one.Lol! Because of this oral I had to wax up my hair. Zzz......But never mind this was my first time wax to school after a very long time =D

My pestismistic side came back. I don't know whether what to do. Should I or Should I not? I am in doubt, I wished, I just wished to have the chance. And I also wished that all my friends were no hypocrit or betrayal. How I wonder? Why must there be more bad guys than the good ones. WHY? Why would also a country told so many lies and destroy so many resoures and human lives for just an abjective? WHY? Maybe I am too naive that no bad people will appear unless in a movie or a show.

I really wished I had the chance to go back through time and be brave to tell you without distraction.Maybe this way we would already be together......

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 2:47 AM

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Yesterday was youth day, so I went to my favourite place(Marina Square) with my buddies Teck Choon and Kai Jie. Guess what I saw went I was there eating? I saw Azizi and Khairi and their groups of girlfriend. LOL?! Everytime I went there my passion of singing increased, even thought sore throat was demoralising me but down there all of my weakness and those things that faltering me was gone. My heart is only thinking of singing. Ya! After eating there we went to Novena and see piano. When we arrived there the shop had already closed but that guy still let us in Xp......After a tour in that shop we went to toy'saurs to play X Box 360...Weird huh? Lol!

Teck Choon had ask me a few question making pondering through days. He asked me what if I really became an idol what will be my biggest aim? I can't really answer him at first but after much consideration I think it will be composing a song for my love will be my biggest aim now.He also asked assume that I completed my guitar and drum set courses what will I go for? I think I will go for dancing will be my final answer to him. Lol!

In music, I really had alot to catch up like my biggest weakness in music. That is not going the right tune and also I am too lazy to really forcused to learn a song. I enjoy hearing them and singing but I don't enjoy the process of learning. Lol! If I can overcome one weakness of mine I surely can overcome all right. Haha! I had already mastered my pass weakness which is high notes, so can I mastered my weakness now.

Okay, now lets talk about today. Today, I never went to school just to go KJ house to learn abit of grade 1 piano.Hahx! And later cracking brain about where to go after we eat. Finally we settle on the idea of going to La La Land. We go there to swim and then sauna. It was a fun trip there I really think that I had almost made the best out of today.Hehe!

If you feel like doing something, don't lets other pouring of cold water stop you. Just go ahead or you will really regretZ it......

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 7:07 AM

Saturday, July 01, 2006

As you all know I rarely blog, because I don't post about normal day life which has nothing exciting. So forgive me if I like 1 week or so never post anything.

I have changed. Although I may not look like it but I did change. I have changed from the inside, my thoughts, my dream etc... People always said that no matter what I do I would always be confident or sometimes over-confident. In truth I did appear confident, but what I can say about them is that they don't know me well enough. I may appear confident but inside me there will always be this fear. I fear that I won't do till what I expect of myself. This is my failure and causes my downfall in life. One day I will remove it permanantly.

Lets talk about the reopening of school. That day, I feel wonderful seeing all my peers in school. I really do miss them a million. Haha! Gladys had changed her hairstyle, seriously speaking it looked nicer than all her previous hair style. Esther......still the same...lol! Keith had become a little more smart and mature + he take insult more lightly. Thats good, so you won't live with the nightmares of insult. I know some of them do stay but you will overcome it and bad luck one day, I have total faith in you. Daren had changed to dota freak.LOL! Kidding!Melvan had not change much. I think I should continue about changes till here.

As I told some of you that I will join jdss but it seems that other than Choon no one have faith in me. My singing really do improve after the concert. If others can do it why can't we? There is no reason they can do it and we can't. We all are human it is just the matter of how devotion you put in. That is what Mr Nathan trying to tell us the other day and this is what I will prove to all of you. I will defintely some how or rather. It is just the matter of time, but time is just an excuse. But who cares as long as I can prove that this verse does exist. To me, to accomplish this I need support from my peers and parents, only if they stand by me and give me the motivation and I will succeed.

In this world all we need to is believe. Beliving will lead to succeed but don't believe the wrong person or you may regret. Basically all you to do first is believe in yourself......

Th3 Desir3 in my HeartZ only had enough Spac3 for You. 9:11 AM